Married to a MAMIL

I am married to a MAMIL- no, not mammal… M.A.M.I.L. Middle Aged Man In Lycra.  I can’t take credit for this clever acronym, but because the acronym exists, it must mean there are a lot of us living with a  MAMIL.

A MAMIL is easy to spot.  He’s typically over 40, and his favorite form of exercise is the bicycle. His magazine selections consist of Bicycling, Bicycling Times, Road Bike Action and Men’s Health.  If he receives a bonus at work or a nice tax refund, his thoughts immediately turn to a new bike or bike accessories.  And one bike is never enough- a true MAMIL must have at least two bikes. MAMILs can be solitary animals, but can be found in packs at local cycle shops, gathering for “group rides.” And when you get MAMILs together, the talk will be about bikes, bike parts, how many miles they rode that week and the countdown to the Tour de France.

And like the name says, these MAMILs love their lycra.  Their outfits emulate those of professional cyclists - The brighter the better.  I’ve often responded to the following statement, “I saw your husband riding his bike today,” with an, “I’m sorry you had to see that.

My husband started his freefall into the land of MAMILs in his 30s.  He started his love of bike riding with mountain biking.  His first lycra purchase was a pair of baggy cycling shorts with a lycra lining. There was nothing embarrassing about that!

Then he discovered road biking, and everything changed.

He wanted to look the part and every Christmas and birthday, pieces of lycra would appear on his gift wish list.  I believe his inaugural lycra was a hand me down from a fellow MAMIL.  It was a bright red and white bib number.  I was horrified.  What started as one hand me down has turned into an entire drawer of shorts, bibs, leg and arm warmers, gloves and some sort of head band thing that helps with a sweaty head.

The MAMIL’s lifestyle has invaded almost every part of our home.  There are MAMIL shirts hanging on the back of the bathroom door, MAMIL food (protein powders, special vitamins and energy gels) in the cupboard and MAMIL water bottles and foam helmet inserts on the kitchen sink.

As if riding a bike and reading about riding a bike wasn’t enough, MAMILs also like to watch it on TV and worse, DVR various televised tours.  Even when he knows the results, my MAMIL likes to watch every stage of the Tour de whatever.

One would think that the bright MAMIL wear makes it easy to spot them on the road, but that’s not always the case.  This is why many will affix blinking lights to their helmet and /or seat backs.  It’s hard to believe, but not everyone appreciates sharing the road with MAMILs.  My MAMIL has almost been grazed by the side mirrors of cars, forced off the road by impatient or distracted drivers, chased by numerous dogs and even had Taco Bell hot sauce packets thrown at him.

Living with a MAMIL presents certain challenges, yes.  But all teasing aside, I”m actually proud to be married to a MAMIL.  He loves the sport,  has made several good friends (Mark, Johnnie, Daniel) who share his love of cycling, and it keeps him in shape.

Just don’t ask me to wash the worn and sweaty MAMIL outfitts!