Ups and Downs

As I write this blog, we just enjoyed a weekend with the Dorm Piggie. It’s always good to welcome our sons home, and I immediately fall back into “Mom” mode. I cook for them, I put gas in their cars, and I enjoy our time with them.

And when they leave, it’s never easy. I really try not to turn into a messy puddle of a mom, and so far, I’ve failed. I hate that to be the last image my son has of me. So I’m trying, and I hold onto the advice of those who precede me in this journey, “It gets easier.”

I don’t recognize this weepy me, but I know it’s part of the process, and I know it’s not permanent.

A year ago, I was not dreading the empty nest… I was looking forward to it!

We had a taste of “child-less” freedom when my oldest headed to college. And we liked it. We began to enjoy a greater freedom and the ability to be spontaneous. I was confident that this “empty nest” thing wasn’t going to be a problem. This is what we raised our children to do, after all. Leave the nest.  Become educated. Get a job. Get a life.

For many years, our life revolved around the needs of our two children, as it should. Their schedules dictated what we did after work and when we took vacation. Their tastes dictated what we ate for dinner or where we dined out. For a lot of years, it was all about them so to finally get the opportunity to be about “us” again was very appealing and highly anticipated.

There are definite pluses to having an empty nest:

• We do what we want, when we want. Ahhhh… freedom
• My house is exactly the same at the end of the day as when I left — no dishes on the counter, no clothes strewn on the bathroom floor, no dirt tracked in from muddy boots.
• I can and do cook now to only our preferences. And sometimes that means a meal of strictly vegetables!
• Our grocery bill is half, and our water bill has dropped without someone taking 2-3 showers/day. (You know who you are!)
• We can leave town for a night or a weekend and not worry about who is going to stay with whom or worse, unauthorized “get togethers” at a parent-free home. 

While good-byes continue to be hard, the times in between are actually really good! Before we had children, my husband and I had only been married for two years, and we were much different people. Without the kids around, our focus is much different, and more on us and OUR future. It’s been an adjustment, and there’s no right or wrong way to handle the ups and the downs — feel it, accept it and move forward. That was this week’s lesson.